PRINCSSIS may listen

Anyone who knows me and my family will know that I am "Princess Sister" to my three younger brothers. I'm a fairly quiet woman, so when I have something to say, I expect to be heard. I mean no disrespect or place myself on any kind of pedestal. My brothers gave me this name, so I honor them by using it.

Location: United States

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I'm spent!

This week has been an emotional one. First, CJ had strep throat and already missed two days of school. He's doing much better and is on a 10 day course of antibiotics. Today, I took him to an orthodontist consult due to an impacted tooth. His left lateral incisor baby tooth was lost in November and the permanent tooth still has not erupted. His dentist recommended he see an orthodontist. Good news! The orthodontist doesn't want to do anything at this point in time. I was so worried he would give me a list of things he would want to do ranging from pulling teeth to jaw expansion. Nope. He thinks the central incisor came in a little off center and prematurely pushed out the baby lateral incisor. On the x-ray, it is very apparent that the lateral incisor is turned sideways. But, since it has not erupted, there's nothing to do at this point. After it has come in, then we can work on getting it turned. The doctor did refer him to a periodontist, however. The upper frenulum (that muscle attachment on the upper gum) seems to be in the way of the front central incisors coming together, so there is a big gap, causing the left one to be in the way of the "impacted" tooth. So, CJ may need a frenectomy. We shall see.

On another note, AR has been having a terrible time at work. He is in general maintenance for a major food manufacturer. He works on anything from unclogging a toilet to major fabrication and overhauling hydraulic equipment. When he first took the job, there were four men in the department. Since then, two have retired and one attempted suicide at home and is on medical leave. (His job cannot legally be posted for bid for a year.) That leaves AR to do four men's worth of work. The other two positions have never been posted to fill. AR believes that his boss can say he saved the company $X by not filling these positions. His (the boss') bonus is based on this number. Why shouldn't he fill the positions?

The company management had at one time agreed to hire a friend of AR's to help him temporarily. This guy has worked at the company before and knows his stuff! He would be a wonderful person to help. However, the manager has never actually gone through with the hire, so AR is buried in work. For instance, there is a piece of equipment vital to the distribution department of the plant that needs some major overhaul. The company's management says there's no money to pay for it. (A contractor would have to come in to do part of the work.) A few days after AR told his boss this needed to be done, the equipment failed. Then, AR had all kind of management personnel breathing down his neck wanting it fixed because "we have 400 trucks to load today! We need this running! When can you have it fixed?" AR is getting so frustrated and burned out. "I'm spent!" he told me the other day.

We had a discussion after that about him looking for another job. He has 19 years in at this company. He's concerned if he leaves, he won't have enough in retirement to retire when he wants (55-60). If he stays, he's confident he will meet those goals. BUT, that is 15-20 years away! I know he will not last at this company that long. He's letting them work himself to death! I literally told him this. His reply was,"well, you and the kids will be taken care of." I was drawn to tears telling him that money doesn't matter. I want him here with us. I don't care how much money I would have if he's not here to enjoy it with me and the kids. Besides, in the meantime, when he's stressed from work, it stresses the rest of the family.

He comes home in a bad mood but doesn't want to talk about it because he'll get upset and then won't sleep. Meanwhile, I'm not sleeping well, worried about him. I hate seeing him like this. I'm glad he has the sense of responsibility to work, even though he hates it, to provide for his family and allow me to stay home most of the time with the kids. Is it worth it, though? If I went to work full time, I could make as much, if not more, than he does now. But, he feels (as do I) it is important that I be home with the kids.

I just don't know how to help him see there could be a place for him somewhere else and still meet his retirement goals. Heck, maybe even surpass them! He's just stuck. He feels he has too much time in at this company to make a change. I say the time is now. Otherwise, he may not be with us at retirement age.


Blogger Blond Girl said...

I'm glad we got to IM about this... a lot going on here. You're in my prayers!

11:48 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I hope things get better for AR soon. That is a difficult situation.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Good morning! Here via Michele today. I hope things get better for you. Have a nice weekend!

8:30 AM  
Blogger vegemiterules said...

G'day Princssis

It would be a hard decision to make, hope it all works out for better.

Visiting via Michele's M&G, it was a pleasure to meet you.

Take care.

11:28 PM  
Blogger Blond Girl said...

OK, Sweetie. I've been patient. Time to start writing again! What's up in the Royal Court? Your humble subjects want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:19 PM  
Blogger Blond Girl said...

More! More! More! Time to write, Princssiss

4:59 PM  
Blogger Blond Girl said...


9:31 PM  

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